[presses a hand against her chest and begins to recount Extremely Truthful (TM) stories from her childhood]

It all began when I was just a wee babe, all of five years old! I could barely count to twenty, much less survive an encounter with an otherwordly being on a dark and stormy night. But my dear, wizened grandmother was ill, and I was determined to traverse the terrifying abyss that was the woods to bring her medicine and food!